


because you're my home

by rose_petrichor



Series: ygtb songfics [2]
Category: YG Treasure Box (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, I'm sorry :(, M/M, This Is Sad, but yeah, i also feel really bad for hyunsuk, i miss gon already, it's another songfic, lapslock, tagged teen for language and panic attacks, this time it's based off of home by seventeen, yet again i'm sorry, yg truly messed up on letting gon go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 10:10:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17826704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rose_petrichor/pseuds/rose_petrichor
Summary: “i love you with my whole heart,” he whispers before finally placing his lips onto hyunsuk’s. their lips slowly mold into one as their heartbeats match the others. they stay like that for a while, their lips pressed into one another's, no rush for anything, just passion and pure admiration and love pouring into the kiss. when they pulled away, they were both breathless, hyunsuk smiles again.





	because you're my home

**Author's Note:**

> i'm back with another songfic  
> this one's sad though  
> i actually had to stop while writing this because i didn't want to start crying in the middle of class so, i'm sorry  
> also, sorry that this took me forever to post i got stuck on the last few lines of the song ( which is also why the end is hella rushed and i hate it)  
> also, this isn't proof-read ripp  
> (also, if any of you have any song/ship requests send them in, i'm making this into a series and i'm here for just about everything, so whatever you want, i'll try to deliver)
> 
> also, thanks for 400+ hits/40+ kudos on my mashikyu fic (≧◡≦) ♡

_what can i do? without you,_

_i’m just an old robot, my heart stops and it’s always cold_

 

hyunsuk lets out a quiet sob, his shoulders shaking despite his efforts to remain strong. byounggon wraps his arms around the smaller, pulling him into a tight embrace. hyunsuk quickly settles into byounggon’s shoulder, paying no attention to the camera crew following the action, they would let off eventually. he hears junkyu shuffle over to them and shortly after feels another pair of arms wrap around his small frame. he allows the tears to fall.

 

_what can we do? without me,_

_you’ll struggle just as much, so what can we do?_

 

hyunsuk looks over the remaining trainees sitting, staring at him with hopeful eyes, he sends another glance over to where byounggon was standing, before calling dohwan's name. the teams had been made. hyunsuk would now have to lead four other kids to success trying to give them the hope of debuting, without showing his own anxiety and fear of himself not being able to make the debut team. it would be rough and he would have no one else to guide him but, he would assist his youngers in any way that he could.

 

_baby, i want to cherish our warmth_

_so no one can come between us_

 

by the time that hyunsuk had gotten back to the dorm, it was nearing three am. he had stayed back in order to learn the choreography for _boomerang_. he wasn’t fully satisfied but, at this point, he was far too tired to care. he quickly maneuvered his way through the dark living room, making his way down the hallway into his room. when he entered and confirmed that the door was fully shut, he turned on the lights, only to find byounggon already asleep on his bed. he quickly changed out of his practice clothing before shutting the lights off and settling into bed with byounggon. as he felt the older’s warmth envelop him and his scent surround him, he fell into a state of bliss, allowing himself to calm down and release all the built-up stress. when he had awoken, his head was buried into byounggon’s chest their arms and legs entangled into each other’s, he took in a deep breath, opening his eyes only to find another pair already looking down at him.

 

_i think my heart has surpassed you already,_

_but, i’m not saying your heart is small_

 

hyunsuk was laying on the floor of the practice room, his head resting in byounggon’s lap. he was writing a rap for his part of the performance, his notebook leaning against his knees while byounggon’s fingers carded through his hair. he retired his pen into his lap, leaning further into byounggon’s touch, reveling in pleasant warmth that spread through his stomach. what he missed was the fondness resting on byounggon’s face while he looked down at the younger, scanning his eyes over his features, taking in every noticeable detail.

 

_it’s still cold outside, the tip of my nose is tingling_

_though we’re far away, the memories bring us closer_

 

as hyunsuk lays in bed, he goes back through his memories that he had shared with the rest of treasure a, they had been with each other through everything, he couldn’t imagine going on without them. even though only junkyu and yedam had been confirmed for the debut team, there was only one open spot left which would mean that only one more member would be making the team. he hauled himself out of bed, shrugging on a jacket and pulling on some shoes before heading out, shutting the door as quietly as possible, in order to try and prevent the rest of his family from waking up. he walked down the street, stopping in at a corner shop and grabbing a snack before continuing the trek. making an executive decision, he turns into the park, sitting down on one of the swings. he swings lightly while finishing the bag of chips he had bought. looking up at the stars, he has only one person on his mind.

 

_if your heart has a hole, i’ll cover it with my hands_

_even if your hands are empty, give them to me so i can fill them up_

 

when hyunsuk had awoken, the results had already been announced. his mom had walked into his room in order to congratulate him on his success. after shedding some tears with his family, followed by a home cooked brunch, hyunsuk finally had a chance to retreat back into his room. it was then that things had sunk in. he had made it. he was going to debut. but, byounggon didn't make it, he wasn't going to debut alongside hyunsuk like they had promised each other. he didn't know what to do. hyunsuk would now have to take on the leader role without byounggon for support and guidance. with shaky hands and blurry vision, he picked up his phone, dialing the familiar number. when he got no response, a whimper fell from his lips, his shoulders starting to shake and his tears began to fall. his hands quickly found purchase in his hair, tugging at the ends in order to try and ground himself, his breathing becoming sporadic, his hearing growing fuzzy. unable to feel the pain burning through his scalp anymore, his arms went to wrap around his legs, hugging them to his chest will his finger created welts in the rough skin on his knees. when his vision began to tunnel, dark spot forming around the edge of his sight, his breathing picked up even more. unable to claim himself, he fell further into a panic. feeling hands land on his shoulders, he jumped, hearing a far off voice telling him to calm down and focus on his breathing before starting to count. hyunsuk focused on what the voice was saying as much as possible, trying to match his breathing to the counting, getting frustrated when he lacked the ability to match the numbers. his hands were pulled off of his knees and taken into another pair of hands. the voice still counting, but this time with lower numbers. _in for two, hold for two, out for two._ this repeated until hyunsuk easily matched it the number increasing to four. then falling into a pattern, _four-seven-eight._ slowly, hyunsuk's sobs turned into whimpers, all the strength and energy leaving him as he leaned into the warm body around him.

  


_tell me, you who is mine, tell me, me who is yours,_

_i’m suddenly afraid_

 

“‘m sorry,” hyunsuk mutters, his head buried into byounggon’s shoulder. “what are you sorry for? you did nothing wrong,” he responds, pressing a kiss to the top of the younger’s head. “i just feel bad for dragging you over here for a such a stupid fucking reason. you deserve to debut, not me. i don’t know how to lead a team or how to remain strong for all of them,” his eyes well-up with tears once again, he swallows hard before continuing, “you deserve this way more than me, you made it through mixnine, you put up with junkyu and i throughout all of it and made it to the final line-up, no matter how much you struggled, you still put so much effort in. then, when the debut got canceled you handled it so well, unlike i did.” byounggon lifts hyunsuk’s face from the juncture of his neck, planting kisses around his face, starting with his forehead, working down the sides, lips brushing over his ear, before moving to his cheeks and tracing down his jaw, murmuring compliments every time his lips leave the skin. he rests his forehead against hyunsuk’s, giving the younger no choice but to maintain the eye contact. “you deserve this just as much as i do, you’ve been with me every step of the way and struggled through more than i could, just because you broke down along the way proves that you’ve been so, so strong. i would move mountains just to be able to see you debut,” he places a tentative kiss to the corner of hyunsuk’s lips, “i love you with my whole heart,” he whispers before finally placing his lips onto hyunsuk’s. their lips slowly mold into one as their heartbeats match the others. they stay like that for a while, their lips pressed into one another's, no rush for anything, just passion and pure admiration and love pouring into the kiss. when they pulled away, they were both breathless, hyunsuk smiles again. “i know i don’t say it often but, i love you too, with my whole heart as well,” their lips meet again.

 

_what do i do? without you,_

_my heart doesn’t have a house to lean on_

 

hyunsuk smiles, looking over at yedam as he introduces himself. it was their first schedule, the first major thing that really proved the fact that they were a group now, that they would be the ones to move on while the others had to stay behind. hyunsuk sucks in a breath, pulling himself out of the depressive headspace, eyes darting over to the mc, focusing back in on the question being asked. this continues throughout the rest of the stream, no matter how much everyone had tried to bring up the mood, the sadness was still noticeable in their eyes, further amplified through the clips that were shown, of everyone as one group. by the time they were closing up the live, hyunsuk was exhausted. except, it wasn’t the type that you could just sleep off and feel better in the morning, it was the bone-deep type, the form that leaves you aching and weak through the entire time you’re dealing with it. and, hyunsuk fears, this was one that could last a lifetime.

 

_things may seem hard,_

_but i’ll always be here_

_so don’t overthink it_

 

to say that hyunsuk was devastated when seunghun and byounggon had left was an understatement. he was completely destroyed, unable to pick himself out of bed. the two elders were the only people that hyunsuk felt he could share all his personal thoughts with, they had been with him for as long as he could remember, they would always be there for him in his dark moments, when his mental psyche was in such horrible condition that hyunsuk felt like a walking zombie, they were there when he was beating himself up for being gay, all because of the things he saw happen to the kid that came out to a select group, which ended up getting spread around the school and, next thing you know, the kid is visiting the nurse’s office every other period due to the injuries he’s getting, they were there for him after the monthly evaluations, when yg had talked down on him and made him feel like he was no longer good enough to call himself a trainee. but most importantly, they were there for him in his happy moments, he was able to share every good thing that came to him and they promised to do the same but now, hyunsuk had so much good that was bound to come out of debuting and he wouldn’t be able to share any of it with the elders.

 

_i don’t wanna let you go like this,_

_i don’t wanna be scared with a broken heart_

 

with shaky hands, hyunsuk's eyes scan over the text, he lets out a sigh, looking up at the ceiling, blinking back tears. now he was really fucked. at least before, they were in korea, they still lived in the dorms, now they had moved out, even worse, they were visiting japan. he breathes in deeply, trying to calm himself before the thoughts form into a panic attack. he hears a soft knock on the door before it opens, revealing junkyu. “hey,” junkyu says while joining hyunsuk on the floor, “i know it’s a stupid question but, how are you?” hyunsuk just shakes his head, swallowing the lump in his throat, junkyu is quick to pull the older into his arms. hyunsuk buries his head in the juncture of his shoulder. “we’ll be okay, we have to stay strong for them.” hyunsuk can hear the strain in his voice, he can tell that junkyu’s trying just as hard as himself to hold back the tears building up.

 

_because you’re my home_

_a place where you can cry, a place where i can cry as well_

 

hyunsuk answers the phone, paying no attention to the caller id, “hello?” “hey, i watched the video, i’m so proud of you.” hyunsuk nearly jumps up at the sound of byounggon’s voice, “seunghun and i are on our way over to the dorm now, do you want me to pick up anything?” “no, you idiot. just get over here, everybody misses you two.” “alright, we’ll be over in five then.”

roughly five minutes later, hyunsuk was opening the door and welcoming the two elders into the dorm, tackling byounggon into a hug. “i hate you a lot.” “i missed you too, sukkie” “shut up and kiss me” byounggon laughs, before cupping the younger’s face and placing a kiss to his lips.

 

_~end~_

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this !
> 
> contact me !
> 
> twitter: @ rose_petrichor  
> au twitter: @ rosey_aus  
> insta: @ rose.petrichor  
> art insta: @ golden.__.roses  
> feel free to contact me, i'm always up for more ibfs !


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